Is It Over Yet?

OK, so I've been in school for 2 weeks, and I already want it to be over. It just seems like my classes aren't grabbing me as much as I thought they would. Children's Lit turns out to be my least favorite class, followed by Later Victorian Lit. Not a good sign for an English major, but it's not my fault none of the good professors are teaching the classes I need this term. Abnormal Child Psyc is cool because I know the prof, and I absolutely adore my Early Italian Humanism professor. She is soo cool and very European. We actually have real Italians in our class...like, from Italy...with accents! But alas, no hot Italian guys, sigh. It's weird, but none of my friends are in my SMU classes. I have friends in my MCAT class and at UTD, but in my SMU classes, it's like I'm a freshman starting from scratch.

UTD physics is the same, but now I have lab Thurs at 7-10 pm after my lecture from 5:30-6:45. Usually, I finish lab after 1/2-1 hr, but the TA this term is a lot harder than the one last term. I don't get why we don't just to keep the same TA. She spent an hour going over how to draw a graph. I mean come one! We're all juniors and premeds who have taken mounds of science classes; we don't need y = mx + b explained to us again after we learned it in 8th grade. Plus, this is the second semester of the course, so we don't need tips on how to survive physics. We have survived, hence the second term. So I got out of class at 8:30, meaning I did finish the actual lab in 1/2 an hr so I would have been out at 7:30 if she had not chatted so much. My online class General Nutrition is gonna be a lot easier than A&P was since there's no lab. We just have 3 assignments we complete at home and 3 tests we take on campus. The third test is the week after I finish my SMU finals, so I only have to worry about 2 tests during the year. Speaking of finals, Italian and Psyc don't have them, so I'll just have my Physics final at the end of April, then 2 finals in early May, and end the term with my last Nutrition test. Ain't life grand?

I need to keep myself motivated. It's been a lot harder to keep on top of my reading assignments so far. But I'll do it. I just need to remember to clear my mind and focus on one thing at a time. Before I know all my assignments will be done and so will my MCAT passages.

Spring 05 Schedule

Here's my Spring 2005 Schedule:

Sunday: 2:30-8:30 MCAT class
Monday: 6:45 am - 12 pm Work; 1-2 pm Later Victorian Lit; 2-3 pm Abnormal Child Psych
Tuesday: 9:30-11 am Children's Lit; 12:30-2 pm Italian Humanism; 5:30-6:45 pm College Physics 2
Wednesday: 6:45 am - 12 pm Work; 1-2 pm Later Victorian Lit; 2-3 pm Abnormal Child Psych
Thursday: 9:30-11 am Children's Lit; 12:30-2 pm Italian Humanism; 5:30-6:45 pm College Physics 2; 7-10 College Physics 2 Lab
Friday: 1-2 pm Later Victorian Lit; 2-3 pm Abnormal Child Psych
Saturday: 2:30-5 MCAT class OR 9-4:30 MCAT practice test
Plus I'm taking General Nutrition online (3 tests and 3 assignments total)

So as you can see it's a pretty busy schedule, but I think I can make it work. I'm taking one less hour because Nutrition doesn't have a lab like A&P did. It's the most important semester of my college career because it's my last one before med school apps this summer plus I've got the MCAT. I need complete concentration and as little distraction as possible. Of course, I happily relish the idea that I have a high chance of becoming Metro Mustangs president and I hope I win. It's the organization I care most about at school and I would love to run it. I can balance.

Happy New Year and Goodbye Noghte Cheen

Wow, I'm getting really lazy with this blog. I check it everyday for updates, as if I wasn't the one writing the entries, haha. It's a new year and my resolution is to make a 30 on the MCAT. Of course, I haven't studied all break, with the exception of MCAT class. It's pure sloth plus all the stuff that's been going on. I went to a Persian-Pakistani wedding on New Year's Day. It was the first wedding of one of my really good friends that I grew up with (the Persian bride). It was really cool, but her sister, who I'm more tight with, is having her wedding in Iran this summer. She's begging me to get tickets, but I don't know if I'll be able to.

My favorite Iranian sitcom, Noghte Cheen (or as everyone calls it, Bamshad) just aired its final episode on Jame Jam satellite last Tuesday night. They had 2 crappy "Crossfire" type specials and then one good "behind the scenes" special. The last episode actually aired in Iran in July, but they started airing the show on the satellite for Iranians abroad afterwards. They replaced it starting New Years Day with Kamarbandha ra beband, which roughly translates as "fasten your belts". The show sucks, and we stopped watching it. I miss Bamshad so much! I only got to tape the last 2 episodes, the 2 crappy specials, and the behind the scenes specials. I miss Bamshad butchering English words: "Amrikayeha megan 'neber'", "Dar Italia, espegetti-getti mekhoran" and of course I miss him singing "Bevafaee, bevafaee, delleh man az ghoseh daghoon shodeh" and "vafa daree, vafa daree, vafa daram, vafa daree, hamammoon vafa dareem" and when he translated "bevafee" to English: "Unfaithfulee, unfaithfulee, my heart is daaaaaamaaaged." And don't forget Mehran Modiri as Ardal. He was so great. I love when he corrected Bamshad, "Nah, begoo chee goftee...chap room! chat roomeh, IQ! Chera rajeb cheezhaee keh nemidooni harf meezani!" and when he would sweet talk so that he could get what he wanted "beya azizam, ghorboonet beram, to kojaee? dalam vasat tang shodeh, cheghat doosetdaram". He could just make you feel all tingly, especially when he said, "manam hassaas!" The wives were great too. I love it when Mozhdeh would say, "Maneeeeezh, hamcheeni namooneh" or "Maneeezh, yeh cheezi meegee ha" or "Bebeen Bamshad, man asob masob....nadaram." It was so funny when Manizh would say, "Vay, cheh Romantique o Parvanehee" and talk about her dental unit. Oh God, please let Noghte Cheen be released on DVD! I'm going through withdrawal symptoms without any prospect of syndication like American TV. It was one of the greatest Iranian sitcoms, like Italia Italia and Daee Jan Napoleon. Why did it have to go away, why?????????????? If you want to check out clips of Noghte Cheen, go here and there's a Noghte Cheen photo gallery here. Bamshad is the fat guy and everyone's favorite. Noghte Cheen truly was genius and brought the whole family together. I hope Modiri goes back to the set and creates another great sitcom.

Santa Cleaned My Toilet

I hope y'all had a nice Christmas. I woke up Christmas morning, headed to bathroom, and what did I find? Blue water. Being as I was still groggy from sleep, I started out thinking, "Wow, the famous blue pee of Santa Claus..." Then I was like, "Wait a minute...Santa Claus doesn't pee blue!" So I thought, how could this Christmas miracle have occurred when I was the last to go to bed at 2 the night before. Then the real explanation struck me: Santa Claus cleaned my toilet. Yup, and may I add that over 24 hours later the water is still blue in only that toilet and no one knows why.

As far as presents, I received 2 sweaters, 2 shirts, 1 pair of pants, 1 pair of earmuffs (#1 on Xmas list), 1 Juicy Couture Horseshoe charm, 1 pair of boots, a bag of LifeSavers, and car window cleaner. I gave to my sisters 2 Coach purses, 2 sweaters, 1 pink velour sweatsuit, 1 shirt, and 1 pair of pants. Yup, Christmas is a fun time of year. Then we watched a marathon of OC episodes I had on tape, including Chrismakkuh! Then we went to go see The Aviator, which was really good and I highly recommend it. It's amazing how much Howard Hughes accomplished in his lifetime and if he didn't have OCD he couldn't have been that great. The OCD gave him the motivation to be a perfectionist, even though there was obvious emotional cost. Leo better get an Oscar this time, and Cate Blanchett too. They were both great, but Leo was just astounding. He so deserved a nom for Catch Me If You Can. What we failed to realize was that the movie was 3 hrs long (I don't think the film was, but there were a lot commercials/previews b4 it started so I think that took up a lot of time). When we got out of the theater we were hungry so we drove around looking of a restaurant open after 10 on Christmas and we found one: Bennigan's! That's right, Bennigan's was open till midnight on Christmas Eve and till 1 on Christmas! It was pretty busy too and the food was great. It was a nice atmosphere to end our nice Christmas day.

Arctic Blast

Yesterday was the first day of winter (since Tuesday night was Shab-e Yalda, Persian homies!), and there was no doubt about it. Here in Dallas we had the first snow fall of the season, and it was real snow, not ice! Of course my biggest fear was about going to work this morning. So I spent yesterday driving around town to get used to driving on icy roads. All night the news had cheesy "Arctic Blast" graphics and kept a play by play of all 500 accidents. I barely slept cuz I was so freaked out. So I got up this morning and kept my eyes glued to the news. It seemed our fair city was doing its job and sanding all the ice on the streets. But, to be cautious, I accepted by dad's offer to drive me to work. So off we endeavored in our Winter Wonderland. It was beautiful, but there was a lot of ice on Preston, esp. around LBJ. I made it to work safe and sound, where I totally rocked and doctor said that I could get into med school I wanted to because I'm super duper qualified. We had really cool cases too in neurosurgery and GI/gyno. My job's awesome; I learn so much.

After work, my mom and sisters picked me up and we went to Northpark Mall for Christmas shopping. While we were there, my mom suddenly says, "Hey isn't that guy famous?" I look over and I see it's...Barry Watson! It was so cool!! My mom was like, "grab your phone and take a picture; let's go talk to him!" I was like, "Mom, that's so not cool. Let the poor guy shop in peace." She was like, "No, he's sad that no one is running up to him." Well, I finally convinced her not to bother Barry. See, my family and I have had this indirect relationship with him for a while (meaning 6 degrees of separation). My really good friends (they're 3 sisters and one of them is getting married Jan 1 and the other just had her engagement party last month to the brother of one of my guy friends at SMU and is getting married in the summer) all went to the same middle school as him (Park Hill Junior High). Yes, Barry Watson moved to Richardson from Michigan when he was 8, the same age I was when I moved out of Richardson to Plano, (otherwise I would have gone to the same middle school as him and then gone to high school with Jessica Simpson). My sister and I's high school geometry teacher Ms. Blakely dated Barry Watson's dad for years and was always going off to his lake house. And last night, my mom and I were watching the 7th Heaven episode where Matt (Barry) tells his parents he wants to drop out of med school to save his marriage. Can you believe it? I'm getting chills. Celebrity sightings are few and far between in Dallas, but the only ones I've had (other than concerts) are:

1. Michael Irving when he visited my elementary school in 5th grade for Texas day (That same year I went to a party where Nina Shahravan was, the woman who later that year would get Irving sent to court)
2. Deoin Sanders when I trick-or-treated at his house in my neighborhood
3. Troy Aikman driving and jogging in our neighborhood. When his house burned down he bought another two streets over.
4. Katherine Helmond (Mona from Who's the Boss?) at III Forks. Boy, did she draw a crowd.
5. Kay Bailey Hutchinson on the airplane on my way to Juarez to get my green card in 4th grade. I was a huge fan of hers at the time.
6. OK, so this wasn't me, but my mom saw Fabio at DFW airport on her way to England. This was when he was cool, ie before the bird bit his nose.
   

Finals: Day 3

I'm so happy!!!!!!!!!!!! I took 2 finals today, British Authors 1 and Victorian Gender. Extremely writing intensive and equally rewarding. My A was guaranteed in BA1, but VG could go either way. I had it calculated that if I got an A on either the last paper or the final exam I would have an A in the course. After I took the VG exam, I got my paper and I got an....A!! She wrote all sorts of great stuff on it about how she read my paper with such excitement and how it's exemplary. I couldn't believe it. Do you know what this means? This means I have done the impossible. I've taken 20 hrs of course work in one term from 3 different colleges in 3 different cities and made a 4.0 in all the classes. How do you turn down someone with that on their transcript? This is one of the happiest days of my college life. All together now: WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finals: Day 2

My CF final went very well today. I don't think I've ever written so much: 4 essays and 5 identities. My hand was hurting and only served as a further reminder of the pain tomorrows 2 English finals will inflict on my phalanges. I found a mistake in the test: instead of E=mc^2 the professor had written E=MC2. I wrote him a little note about it, but it turned out that I was the last person to finish the exam. So I went ahead and pointed out to him that the equation he had written was energy equals the mass of the earth times specific heat times 2, not energy equals mass times the velocity of light squared. He looked at me and said, whoever noticed that deserves an A. I was positively screaming inside! He wished me the best and I did the same. Oh God, please let me have a 4.0 semester, please please! I'm pretty sure I have the A for CF and I definitely will have it for British Authors 1 tomorrow. I just have to nail Victorian Gender (3-6 pm) tomorrow and hope that I'm not too worn out from 3 hrs of writing my British Authors 1 exam (11:30 am - 2:30 pm). Today also marks the end of my tete a tetes with Cute Frenchboy. As I watched him turn in his exam and walk out of my life forever, I thought to myself "Au revoir et bonne chance en amour."

Finals: Day 1

OK, so today wasn't my first final, but it was my first SMU final: Social Psychology. I got my UTD grades back: A in College Physics I and A+ in College Physics I Lab. I also got my social psych grade, A-. Yeah baby!! Tomorrow is Social and Intellectual History of Europe. Today was my review and I had a very nice chat with Cute Frenchboy before it started. He's so cute and European, sigh. The review was okay, not very structured, Q&A style. I got my Brit Lit 1 paper back: A again. I really wish he exempt me from the final, but he was sort of tied because it's a team-taught class and he's not the "head" professor. Oh well, the A's in the bag anyway. I'm so happy I'm an English major and that I'm taking my science classes at UTD. That was the smartest decision I ever made. 2 finals down, 3 more to go.

Art Imitates Life

Broken Dreams

I almost don't believe it: Khatami: Iran's Democratic Reforms Failed.
I was in Iran in 1997 between Khatami's first presidential election and his inauguration. It was such an exciting time. Everyone was so hopeful of the future. They saw Khatami as a panacea for all their troubles, a chance to retrieve at least a modicum of the freedom and dignity of Iran's past. They were so sure that with Khatami in power everything would be all right. Instead, he was held back by a fundamentally flawed political system. In Iran, the power is not in the hands of the elected parliament or president, but in the appointed mullahs. The people don't have any say in who these religious officials will be or in the policies that they implement. You can see the problem: the system is not designed to represent the people and is a republic in name only (like how England is really a monarchy because the queen has little power, but the PM has lots more control). Khatami was an intellectual who thought he could make a difference in the country that he loves, but he couldn't. He was chained by the regime. What I'm surprised about is that he has the guts to admit it. But I guess he can now that he's out of power. I wouldn't be surprised, though, if he "disappeared" soon after leaving office. The government has little tolerance for the kind of things he said in his farewell address. I really wonder what the next president is going to be like, but unless they change the system it won't matter.

Dream On...

So I had a dream two nights ago that bothers me. I'm at my history final exam review and Cute Frenchboy is there (and he even speaks French!). We basically flirt like mad throughout the whole review, but I keep wanting to ask him what his email address is. So then we get a break in the middle of the review and, instead of asking for it or his cell phone number, I get up and get dolled up to go to a Persian party in the next room. When I get there, I say hi to everybody and I'm really excited to be at this party but I also want to get through it so that I can go back to Frenchie. So I'm speaking Farsi obviously this whole time until I get to one girl. I say "Salam" to her and she replies "whatever, I don't even want to be here." Then I say, "look I've got this hottie waiting for me in the next room, do you think I wanna be here?" Then she says, "so what? You're just gonna "do it" and then what?" And then I say, "I am not! I've never done that and I'm not planning on doing it today." Then she says, "Well if you want to be with him so bad what are you doing here?" I realize that she's right and I dash out (looking fabulous) to go back to him. Then I see him laughing and having fun with a 3 other girls and, it's like I'm invisible. I keep calling his name, and he doesn't even look at me.

Analysis: I think this dream indicates that those chains I thought I was free of are very much still attached. I never did pursue Cute Frenchboy. I had the opportunities, and I didn't take them because something was still holding me back. In my dream, when I had the opportunity to get Frenchie's number I immediately retreated into the Persian community even though it wasn't really where I wanted to be. I was happy there because I felt safe, secure, and the culture is so routine. But my routine was disrupted by the American girl telling me that this world is not what I really want. I think she represents my American self. She says that as long as I'm not compromising my morals there's no reason not to go have fun with people that I like to be around. When I went back into the "American" world, Cute Frenchboy didn't want me anymore. I think that's just an indicator of where I stand with him now; I had my chance, I retreated, and now my opportunity is gone. I may never see him again after Thursday. I have to stop living in fear.

Warrior Princess

HaHa! It turns out my ancient ancestors were female warriors! Can you believe it?

Bones Suggest Women Went to War in Ancient Iran

Sat Dec 4, 8:47 AM ET

Science - Reuters

TEHRAN (Reuters) - These days Iranian women are not even allowed to watch men compete on the football field, but 2,000 years ago they could have been carving the boys to pieces on the battlefield.

DNA tests on the 2,000-year-old bones of a sword-wielding Iranian warrior have revealed the broad-framed skeleton belonged to woman, an archaeologist working in the northwestern city of Tabriz said on Saturday.

"Despite earlier comments that the warrior was a man because of the metal sword, DNA tests showed the skeleton inside the tomb belonged to a female warrior," Alireza Hojabri-Nobari told the Hambastegi newspaper.

He added that the tomb, which had all the trappings of a warrior's final resting place, was one of 109 and that DNA tests were being carried out on the other skeletons.

Hambastegi said other ancient tombs believed to belong to women warriors have been unearthed close to the Caspian Sea.

Eid Mubarak!

Today was Eid Fitr. Hope y'all had a nice holiday. Now it's back to my gorging self. Yesterday was my first day of MCAT class at Princeton Review. Basically the whole day was one full-length MCAT diagnostic. I got my scores back today: 6BS, 4PS, and 7 VR. It's no surprise that verbal was my best and physical was my worst, but I'm really surprised that I did almost as well on biological as I did on verbal. My physical grade is so low cuz I only got 1/2 way through, and there were 2 passages on electricity, which I won't study until next term. I'm not too worried, cuz it's the easiest section to inprove. OK, so I've got to go up 4 pts on BS, 6 pts on PS, and 3 pts on VR to reach my goal. I'm pumped! The teachers are so good there. Today was GenChem and Physics. Great teachers, both of them. I highly recommend TPR to all.

Tears for Fears

Cool, an OC blog.

Tonight's American Dreams was soooo sad. My mom and I were crying because we thought JJ had died and his whole family was crying, and it was the saddest thing on television. Then at the very end, it was revealed that JJ is alive! He just has to come back to see his baby, who's going to be born next week! This is so exciting! Yay!!!

I spent my Saturday at SMU. No, I wasn't there for the Homecoming Game. The funny thing is I didn't even know about it, but when I got there the place was packed, there was no parking, and the game was about to start. I had actually gone there to visit the Meadows Museum for the first time. The work there truly is beautiful. Then I went to the mosque that night for Shabe Qadr services. (Yes, this weekend was devoted to crying.) After staying up all night praying and crying, I went to work Sunday morning. See, I had agreed to cover for this girl, but I had forgotten what I was doing the night before. Luckily, Red Bull got me through rounds. I even got some great pointers from the doctor about what to say during my interview and about the MCAT (I start TPR next weekend!)

OK, so I was kinda upset about Bush winning the election, but Michael Moore's 17 Reasons to Not Slit Your Wrists really helped me through it. If you voted for Bush, well I'm glad someone is happy. If you voted for Kerry, read the Moore article and try to cheer up. If you voted for Nader, get your head out of the clouds and pick a side!

Final Exam

Guess what guys! I got my hands on the final exam. Check it out:

The Final Exam

Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time Limit: 4 hours. Begin immediately.

1. History

Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

2. Medicine

You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

3. Public Speaking

Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

4. Biology

Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

5. Music

Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

6. Psychology

Based on your degree of knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Rameses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammurabi. Support your evaluations with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

7. Sociology

Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

8. Management Science

Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm; design the communications interface and all necessary control programs.

9. Engineering

The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

10. Economics

Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

11. Political Science

There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

12. Epistemology

Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.

13. Physics

Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

14. Philosophy

Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

15. General Knowledge

Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

16. Extra Credit

Define the universe. Give three examples.

Election Day 2004

Today was one of the more exciting days of my life. I had my first chance to translate the doctor's words to a Persian patient. Too bad the guy was deaf. Next I saw my first intubation. First we visited the patient, who seemed just fine. She had a hip replacement done last week and had recovered and she was going to be sent home tomorrow. Well, two hours after we saw her, we got a page that she was experiencing extreme shortness of breath. So we dashed back to her room in a different building and sure enough she was gasping for air. We sent her to the ICU and followed her down there and settled her in. Her surgeon came in along her nurses and respiratory therapy (and a high school student who was doing her first day in respiratory therapy for clinical rotations). The patient was sedated and the surgeon started to intubate. Now, I'm only familiar with intubation from ER where it only takes about 5 seconds. It is very different in real life. The surgeon placed the tube down her throat and the patient's gag reflex kicked in, causing her to vomit. Once she did that, the air way clogged with vomit, so the surgeon called for suction. The tube has to be placed between the 2 vocal cords so the airway has to be clear enough for the surgeon to know where to place the tube. The airway was cleared, the tube was placed, and the surgeon manually pumped oxygen. Instantly I saw the oxygen saturation jump from 64% to 99%. This revealed to me the miracle of medicine: if the patient had lived in another time, lack of oxygen would have immediately equaled death. But the combination of quick action, communication (via pager, etc), medical technology, and the genuine teamwork between health professionals, her life was saved. We still don't know why she had trouble breathing, but hopefully I'll find out when I go back to work on Sunday. Finally, when I returned home to Plano, I am happy to say that I voted. I am the first person in my family to vote, in fact I am the first to be eligible to do so. I made my voice heard, I broke my silence, and I performed my civic duty. May the best man win. God bless America.

Boo! Did I scare you?

Happy Halloween (and Fall Back)!! Yes, it's my favorite holiday here again. This year I was a cat (yes, I know, again). I was tempted to wear an M on my costume and be the MCAT, but I got too lazy. It seems my hands and my mind act at different speeds. I got this thing called Sonic PrimeTime so I've been burning all sorts of TV shows onto DVD. It's been great. I love possession (haha, it's a Halloween pun!). It's fun to give out candy to all the cute kids that come up to our door. They were all like, ooo kitty!! It totally reminded me of Boo from Monsters, Inc, which I burned on DVD today from when they showed it on TV last night. Snow cones, anyone? That always cracks me up. I spent all day writing my history paper on Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own. I really like her stuff. Maybe I'll work her into my senior thesis. I've also got my physics homework and A&P lab practical to work on. Gee, ain't I lucky? At least midterm season's over. Now it's registration time. I meet with my advisor tomorrow, so I should be hangin in the lounge from 12-1:30 if you wanna say hi.

My Turn

Today was my turn to get embarrassed in the aforementioned class. My professor was talking about existentialism and that famous quote, "Hell is other people." Then he looked at me and said, "Let's just say Maryam is my hell." I said, "I hope not." Then he said, "OK then, let me just ask you, what do you say to other people when they ask about me?" I said, "As a person or as a professor?" He said however. I said, "Well, I would say you're knowledgeable." Then he said, "See what I would say is that all professors are frauds, so being knowledgeable may not be a good thing." I, of course, started with the nervous laughter. Then my professor said, "OK, so let's say your friends want to tell you what I think of you. You should cover your ears and say, 'I don't want to hear it. The professor is my hell.' And when other people want to tell me what Maryam thinks of me, I'll...well, actually I like what she has to say about me so I don't mind." OK, the whole class was thoroughly confused, and I was a little blushy.

Later on in class, I supplented our discussion of "The Stranger" by talking about the original French title "L'Etranger." So at the end of class, the professor was talking about something and in the middle of it I thought I heard him say, "I know you're French, Maryam." Everybody in class turned and looked at me, including a piqued Cute Frenchboy. I was confused. After class, my professor came up to me and apologized for putting me on the spot. I told him I found it to be "quite funny." I went to my next class and asked one of my friends, "Did the professor call me French?" She said that she had heard that too and thought it was weird that he said that. I said, "Maybe when I said I was Persian he though I said Parisienne." Then she laughed and said, "Maybe he said, 'Pardon my French, Maryam.' That sounded reasonable (even though it made no sense in context), and I let the matter pass.

What a Cutie!

I had a dream last night that someone else proclaimed his love for me while my crush did nothing. Well, that made me interested in what would happen when I saw him today. He came into class a little late. I started talking in class early on because I like to see his reaction to what I have to say. Today he was nodding, turning up the corner of his mouth into a grin, and saying "yes, yes, absolutely." It was soo hot!! The rest of class, however, he was pretty quiet with sort of a blank expression. The professor used me as an example for different things, and my crush smiled and laughed along. Well, then, 5 min to the end of class, the professor asked a question. Right at that moment my crush gets up to leave the room for something. Then the professor said, "Oh, you're leaving right now!!" Well, then the cutie got all embarrassed and turned back around and sat down. Then the professor started apologizing to him for embarrassing him and the cutie turned bright red. It was hilarious!! The class started laughing and he was covering his face in shame. It was so great cuz he was so embarrassed and he hadn't done anything wrong. Then one of my friends in the class was like, "it's ok, man, don't worry about it" in that tough macho way. Well, it turned out that the Cute Frenchboy had a cold and he was out of Kleenex and was going to get a new one. OK, so there's nothing shameful in that and it explains his uncharacteristic quietness. But after class he goes up to the professor and apologizes for attempting to step out of class to get a Kleenex. What a gentleman!! It was all I could do to contain myself. He's just so classy and intelligent. Dang, I wish I had a Kleenex to give him.

Find Romance No Matter How Busy You Are

OK, so I was thinking about him all night and now that the chains are broken and I've come out of my cave into the sunlight I still don't know what to do. I thought about sending him an email with some lame excuse related to our class, but that just seems so lame. See, my whole life (when I was in the cave) since I couldn't communicate directly I used all sorts of indirect means. In middle school, it was passing notes, in high school instant messaging, etc. Now I'm in college, I'm an adult, and I should be able to go up to a guy I'm interested in and say, "I like you, do you like me?" If I send him a stupid email about class, I'm just hiding behind something again. I really wish he'd make the first move. This is so nervewracking. I wonder what it's going to be like when I see him tomorrow.