So I'm checking out my old high school crushes on Facebook, and they're all doing such cool stuff now. One is campaigning for his future presidency (of the US!) and prepping to ride a bike marathon from Austin to Anchorage. Another one is kicking ass at Rice, another's in Denver, and the rest are all shacked up at UT. It's so crazy how everyone's got their own life going on after high school. When you're in HS, all those people seem so important. But once it's all done, they're just blips on the radar of life. All you have left is the memory of the few things you said to them and how they made you feel. If I knew then that someday I would be so far removed from them, maybe I wouldn't have been so shy in high school, and I would have actually talked to them more. Whatever, I'm the same way now, and I'm gonna be even farther removed from the guys I know in college. Maybe it's just my personality.
Whenever I start wishing that I could go back to high school and redo a whole bunch of stuff over, I suddenly get Don Henley/the Ataris' "Boys of Summer" stuck in my head: "The little voice inside my head saying, 'Don't look back; you can never look back.' I thought I knew what love was; what did I know? Those days are gone forever. I should just let them go." I guess I'm just getting nostalgic now that I'm in my last year of college and my best friend from HS is starting pharmacy school. It just seems like my youth is ending. I know that sounds totally ominous and possibly even lame, but I just feel like I should be having fun while everything about my situation is telling me to get serious. Basically, I'm exactly where I was four years ago when I was applying to colleges: I didn't know what I was doing then but I thought I knew everything, now I know what I'm doing but I think don't know jack.