I did not make this blog but it's interesting to read. I spent the day cleaning up around the house in preparation for the guest star arriving tomorrow. I've also been getting ready for my summer school class, which also starts tomorrow. I'm a little nervous. Hopefully I will do better in this class the second time around. UTD uses the same textbook as SMU, so I've been reviewing to refresh the O Chem in my mind. I must make an A in this course. Let's all think happy thoughts. Haha, bunnies...

Today I discovered Ben & Jerry's "diet" ice creams: Carb Karma, No Sugar Added, Light Ice Cream, and Low Fat Frozen Yogurt. This could prove to be dangerous. I enjoyed the Half Baked Carb Karma and the Strawberry No Sugar Added. Don't get the Swiss Vanilla Almond Carb Karma, it's too bland. I watched The 6th Day starring the governor of California. For some reason, these science fiction movies lose all their fun when you know the real science behind them. I mean, the idea that our brains hold info that can be transmitted through our eyes onto SIM cards and that your clone could just look at the info on the SIM cards and become just like you is rediculous. The best part of the movie was when Arnold and his clone would talk to each other. It was hilarious. I kept waiting for one of them to say, "Slow down, I can't understand your accent." I've kept up my workouts with the at-home elliptical machine that I built myself (yes, I'm tooting my own horn there). My sister picked up Sonic for me totally on a whim. She comes home and says, "I've got carb-friendly buns!" I was like, uhhhh good for you? And she's like, "No, not that! The hamburger buns are carb-friendly. And I got Diet Cherry Limeades!" She was very excited. Hell, I was excited. Seriously, the synthetic stuff can only get you so far. I'm really into salads right now. I don't want to rely on pre-packaged stuff like I did with Slim-Fast. But I've lost 15 lbs these last 2 months so I'm pretty happy. Oh, and a sneak peek: we have a guest star appearing on Tuesday. Stay tuned.

So tonight's Wedding Special has special guest stars! Who'd a thunk it? After spending the day primping for the wedding, we finally shipped off. We had only eaten salad for lunch and drove to Los Colinas with visions of kabob and shirin berenj dancing in our heads. When we arrived at the wedding the band was playing. But this was not just any band, it's our special guest star: The Boyz! Now you're all thinking, who the hell are The Boyz? Well, they're one of the bands that emerged during the Persian boy band craze of 1999 and they've been able to stick around since then. Isn't that a c-razy turn of events? They were singing an eclectic mix of songs (90% Persian, 5% Arabic, 5% Spanglish). They even did Ricky Martin's Cup of Life. Of course the bride's family made a big deal about how they got celebrities to sing at their wedding. Eh, I would have made a big deal too. So we danced and then dinner was served. So first we all got salad and then everyone was geared up for the main course. It was grilled chicken breast. That's it. No kabob, no shirin berenj, no Iranian food at all. So we bought them a $300 wedding gift for this? (See I can say that because I had never seen the bride and groom before today, and I still have no idea who they are.) The guests were a little indignant about the lack of Persian food and the dry wedding cake. The Boyz's Rojeh (AKA the "cute" one) tried to cheer up the crowd by jumping onto the dance floor and dancing with some married women. Yeah, that didn't help much. Well, I'm a big dancer, but my sisters aren't so they constantly just wanted to sit down. Thus I was forced to do the same a lot of the time. We shared a table with 2 other families that we know. The families are actually both made up of an Iranian husband and American wife. They have beautiful kids. One of the family's son goes to SMU law and just finished his first year (he's the guy we saw that one day in front of Fondren library, Diego). He's gorgeous with blue eyes, black hair, and a soft breathy voice. Every girl that sees him melts, but I've known him for so long that I'm pretty immune to his charms. His sister is also very beautiful and guys were constantly asking her to dance with them. She just graduated from UT Austin. They're both great people and not into all the crazy Iranian scene here in Dallas. Incidentally, one of the wedding guests was a certain "Prince" Payam. He had a website a few years ago filled with pictures of Dallas Persians partying. The site made him something of a celebrity among the young Persians who were constantly checking his site to see if they were on it and, more importantly, to see who else was on it. It was a pretty cool time in Dallas Persian history. At the end of the reception, the band suddenly packed up to leave. The bride's dad got up and started fighting with them. See, he had hired them to play for 6 hrs and they had only played for 5. Then one of the band members yelled to him, Thanks for suing us! The band left and the bride's friends put on Shania Twain. That was our cue to get the heck out of dodge, so we bid everyone a fond farewell and went on our way.

I think you will be a tad bit surprised by the events that I will record in this post. It's just one of the many twists in the summer season of "Prettydoc's World." So yesterday we packed our bags and said goodbye to fabulous Las Vegas. We had such a lovely time and are glad to end our trip on a relaxed note. We get in the Bellagio towncar and drive off to McCarran airport and the Boeing 757 that's waiting to take us home. We go all the way through airport security (this time I made sure to wear a bra that doesn't beep. It was so embarrassing to be felt up in front of everyone at DFW before my departure flight). Then we waited at the gate and my dad and sisters go to check out WHSmith. So my mom and I are just sitting at the gate and lo and behold the PA system comes on: "Due to thunderstorms in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area all of today's American Airlines flights to DFW have been CANCELED. Since this is due to weather, we will not be able to assist you in anyway. You are on your own, suckers!" (OK, so I made up that last sentence, but that's what it felt like.) So my mom jumps into the now very long line to make a new flight reservation and I call my dad on my cell to tell him what happened. My dad runs back and joins my mom in line. Then, a stroke of genius hits me. I grab my cell and call the American Airlines reservation hotline. I get on the phone with Anthony, the perky clerk, who happily offers me several flight times. I ask my dad when he wants and he says 3pm the next day. So I make the reservation and everything is A-OK. Meanwhile, the rest of the poor saps are still in the winding line not knowing if they'll get a flight. I love coming out on top! (Wow, I sound really evil right there.) So we stay in line and the AA guy checks us in, saving us valuable time later on. Well, while I was on the phone with AA, my dad had been on the phone with a hotel for us to stay in tonight. The hotel was not our beloved Bellagio, but The Venetian. They had been calling him for months to stay there and he thought that this would be a great opportunity to take him up on their offer. So we agree and get on the taxi and head for The Venetian. Our cab driver was incidentally a former employee of The Venetian and told us stories about how he helped build part of it, how he worked at the front desk, and how the owner didn't pay half of the construction bill. I remember staying at the Mirage years ago when the Venetian was being built across the street and hearing about how a construction worker had fallen to his death that day. Scary stuff. Well, we get to The Venetian and of course it has lovely architecture but once we got to our suite we saw that that's where the beauty ends. The shower was covered with black mold, the toilet didn't flush very well, and when I sat in the bed I felt as if phantom bugs were crawling on me. But we agreed we should not jump to conclusions, but instead give the Venetian a chance. So while my dad played downstairs we girls headed over to the pool and spa. The pool was dirty and covered with leaves and the spa was even more disgusting. The whirlpool was smaller than my bathtub and it was not shaped in a circle, so how can it whirl? The whole hotel just seemed strange. None of the staff was courteous, particularly in the restaurants. Perhaps we were spoiled my Bellagio, but when my dad caught up with us later raving about how loose the slots are here, we all begged him not to get too attached because we didn't want to come there anymore. We went for a walk outside to get out of the hotel and thought we'd cross the street to check out the Sirens of TI. TI is Treasure Island, which was known for it's Pirate Show. Well the Pirate show stopped a while ago and the name was changed to TI to give the resort a more "cool" image. The pirate show was replaced with the Sirens of TI where sexy sirens lure the pirates to their cove. So it's the pirate show with hot chicks. Well as soon as we get to the show, the PA system comes on: "Due to heavy winds, the Sirens of TI has been cancelled. HAHA, suckers!" We stop in our tracks, look at the sky and say, "What did we do to deserve this?" On the record, we felt no wind. What the hell were they talking about? For some reason, the world had decided to cancel everything. So we walked inside TI and then took the tram to the Mirage and walked around there and head back to the Venetian. The next day (Friday) we awoke, packed everything, said goodbye to Vegas (this time not so relaxed), and took the cab to the airport. Luckily we had already checked in so we went straight to security and got to the gate. Our flight was not on a 757, but instead was on one of the former TWA planes (you know the small rickety ones where there's no TV or radio and every seat sucks and the landings are never smooth and your bag doesn't fit into the overhead compartment because anything bigger than your fist can't fit in there.) But we sucked it up and got on the plane. We sat in the very last row, right by the propeller so we couldn't hear a thing. I couldn't even talk to the person next to me without shouting. I finally relax in my seat and look diagonally to my right and a gentleman is reading a magazine exactly in my line of vision. But not just any magazine, the guy was reading....PENTHOUSE!!!!!!! WTF is the MoFo doing reading PENTHOUSE on a plane?! So there in all it's smutfilled glory I'm forced to stare at unspeakable nastiness. So I try to block my poor mother next to me from seeing the magazine by turning and talking to her about random things. Of course, she can't hear me because of the goddam propellor so she looks right past me and sees the Penthouse. "Omigosh," she says, "That guy's reading porn!" I'm like, I know, I tried to keep you from seeing it. She's like, that's so gross! Well, then the flight attendant comes over cuz my dad couldn't fit his suitcase into the overhead bin because it's bigger than a fist so the flight attendant is all, sir you need to check that bag yada yada yada. Well, I'm all geared up to say, What about the perv reading porn on the airplane? when my dad finally fits his suitcase into the bin and the flight attendant makes her way down the row. As she walks by she says the spread-eagle centerfold and says to the perv, "What do you think you're doing?! You can't have porno on the airplane! Take it to the bathroom!" My mom looks at me and says, "What would he do with it in the bathroom? I don't get it." I'm like, Mom you don't want to know. Luckily the guy puts it up in the bin, but my mom and I still refused to go pee during the flight. The image just couldn't get out of our heads. So after our bumpy landing we finally made it to DFW. We get on the shuttle to our parking (which arrived 20 min after our flight did) and the shuttle is packed. So we all have to stand. While the shuttle is driving, it takes a sharp turn and I nearly fall into this couple by the window. The whole bus starts pointing and laughing at me (hey, it's the story of my life) and the woman says, "We may have to grope you" while her husband says, "Don't worry, I'm pretty soft to land on." I'm totally embarrassed and apologizetic, but everyone just keeps laughing. So we keep going and 5 min later I fall again but this time my dad catches me and the people on the bus were more worried than laughing. My sister starts saying, oh she's just tired from the flight and someone says, what did she fly the plane or something? Well that guy got shut up real fast. When I got off the bus my sister said, "Everybody on the bus gettin tipsy!" and my other sister kept pretending that she was falling on me. Finally we made it home where I was safe from thunderstorms, nasty hotel rooms, porn-reading perverts, and falling on buses. So now all I have to do is find the energy to deal with the wedding tomorrow. Oh, fcuk it.



On : 5/29/2004 11:43:57 AM gp (www) said:

i saw children of heaven.. i was right, very similar to la vita e bella.. but soo much cuter. very cute movie. =)

id like to go to las vegas some day.. but i dont think i could take it for more than a few hours. i met a guy the other day that used to work at the circus circus as a bouncer. he didnt realize the exact reason i was laughing so much, but he knows how ridiculous the place is. i think the cooler is a great las vegas movie. i never liked casino much or any of the card hustler movies, rounders, etc.

be well.
- gp

On : 5/29/2004 12:06:10 PM prettydoc (www) said:

Children of Heaven is a definite classic and one of the few Iranian films with a happy ending. I also recommend The White Balloon and The Color of Paradise. They are the two Iranian films that came out right before and right after Children of Heaven. If you watch them as a trilogy, you can definitely see a progression. I understand how the casino aspect of Vegas could get boring, but I don't participate in that so each day held a new adventure. I liked when The OC visited Vegas. It was the closest depiction to my own experiences. I think it's because they were underage so they had to occupy themselves in other ways.

On : 5/29/2004 11:04:40 PM gp (www) said:

where was children of heaven filmed? really beautiful backdrops and a fun, almost inwardly swollen city. they may have mentioned during the film where it was, but i dont remember. i think color of paradise is on my list. also by majid majidi?

On : 5/29/2004 11:53:08 PM persianguy (www) said:

Children of Heaven rox0red. Sorry about your whole "venitian" incident, God forbid you go a night under the conditions of all us simpleton non-bourgeois folk.

On : 5/30/2004 12:00:18 PM Will K (www) said:

Persian guy, Dont ever say "rox0red" again. Matter of fact dont bother opening your mouth ever again, even to breathe.
Maryam, please use paragraphs to structure your thoughts.
Your recent posts have been quite exciting, reporting on a world that truly belongs to you. Now if you could just break up the huge text dumps. :P

On : 5/30/2004 2:16:26 PM prettydoc (www) said:

Wow Will, that was really constructive (and I'm not being sarcastic). I appreciate it, and I have taken your suggestion and will use it. I hope persianguy does the same. gp, Majid Majidi is sort of like the Stephen Spielberg of Iranian cinema. He made Children of Heaven and the Color of Paradise. Jafar Panahi runs a close second and made The White Balloon and The Circle. The Circle was banned in Iran because it actually gives voice to the plight of women.

On : 5/30/2004 3:50:56 PM prettydoc (www) said:

Oh, and I'm pretty sure Children of Heaven was filmed in Tehran. That city has pretty distinctive gutters.

So a big negatory on the whole FCUK thing. The only shirt I was willing to get had FC and UK with two fingers colored like the Union Jack holding a peace gesture. They had it in white and black, but only in XS. I was like, um ok I apologize for having breasts, I know it may seem unusual for women to have but they must fit into the shirt. So there went that. So the store is in the Desert Passage mall at the Aladdin, which is a MidEast themed hotel. In previous years it was filled with bellydancers, guides dressed like sheiks at each map, Arab acrobats, and Ya Habibi music. Well, yesterday I saw that they had removed those first 2 completely and replaced the Arab acrobats and music with Rastafarian acrobats and Raggae music. Um, last I checked there were no Rasfarians in the Middle East. Oh, and their "acrobatics" was break-dancing. BREAK-DANCING?! It was so crazy! I was like, stick to the theme, people. Plus the crowd they drew was nowhere near the crowd that used to come to see the real Arab acrobats and bellydancers. They still have their Hookah store and boy was it filled. My mom was like, what's a hookah and I'm like, you know mom the water pipe. She's like, "oh ghalyoon! Why didn't you say so?" I really wonder where the hookah word came from, maybe it's Arabic. Last night we went to Aqua, the seafood restaurant here. We started off with Iranian Beluga caviar served in the traditional style. It was fabulous as always. The neat thing is that the caviar Iran exports doesn't have that fishy smell which is such a signature for the Iranian caviar that's actually consumed in Iran. Iran always exports their better caviar. I don't like how Americans don't have lemon/lime with their caviar. That was always a staple in Iran. When we asked for lemon, the waiter didn't even bring it. Oh well, whatever. Then I had the Miso-glazed Chilean Sea Bass. Mmm, great stuff. Wish y'all were with me. Then I watched American Idol and saw that Fantasia won. Well, I'm happy for her. The look on her face when she won just made everybody in the room cry. Then I watched Super Millionaire, um ok so nobody the entire week won. What kind of a scam is this? Today's my last day here. My flight leaves tonight for Dallas and then I'll be caught up in getting ready for the wedding Saturday night. This morning I was the first to wake up, so I snuck down to the VIP lounge and borrowed one of their laptops to type this out while talking on my cell. I felt very high tech and executive. Yes, my Old Navy flip-flops make me feel very executive.

In other news, this Persian guy from my school just won a role on the Young and the Restless. His name is Iman Nazemzadeh. He appeared with his brother in the Jessica Lynch movie, they played Iraqis. Then he and his bro filmed a pilot called "LAX" (the airport, not the laxative) with Heather Locklear that will air this fall, Monday nights at 10/9c on NBC. Here's a link to the CBS site where you can watch video of his tryouts and read more about the Y&R contest.

After days of eating at Cafe Bellagio, Buffet, and Cafe Gelato, last night we finally got some fine dining. This was courtesy of our good friends at VIP services, who finally decided that we were worthy to eat their strawberries. So I ate their strawberries (and brownies, they got rid of the biscotti this year), and I kept y'all in mind (and the possibility of a road trip with my homies to my favorite vacation destination). Last night we had dinner at Shintaro, which is Bellagio's version of Beni Hana. First we had salad, then Miso soup. Then we had the "Symphony of Land and Sea" Teppinyaki combo, which consisted of beef tenderloin, prawns, and lobster. It was all made in front of us teppinyaki style with the knife throwing and the oil boiling. Then the chef made shrimp fried rice in front of us too and we finished dinner with chocolate mousse. It was awesome, and the food was great. I took some pictures on my digital camera, so I'll send y'all some once I figure out how to upload pics. I watched American Idol last night, and I think I'm the only person who wants Diana DeGarmo to win. She's just so much funner to me than Fantasia. Her version of "Enough is Enough" really spoke to me, while none of Fantasia's stuff left me floored. Eh, I've barely watched this season at all (which has made me an outcast among some of my friends; see there are reasons why I watch TV). Then I head down to the lounge, ate some strawberries and headed back up to watch Super Millionaire. Tonight's the last night and Millionaire is much more exciting now than it was when I was in high school. I think today we're gonna go to the Desert Passage at Aladdin, home of my favorite store FCUK. No, read it again more slowly this time...yes, isn't it hilarious? I have flip-flops from them, but maybe this will be the year when I'm brave enough to buy a shirt that says "FCUK in Sin City" or, another one of my favorites, "Arretez looking at mes boobies."


On : 5/26/2004 7:03:08 PM diego (www) said:

i was gonna buy a shirt at Willow Bend from FCUK that just said FCUK in letters on the front and my mom was like "there's no way I'm letting you buy that." bah.

On : 5/26/2004 7:40:39 PM Will (www) said:

FCUK ... I remember that from middle school. Vaguely.

On : 5/27/2004 11:47:51 AM prettydoc (www) said:

Yeah, my mom was like, oh this French Connection...I had a French Connection shirt in the 70s when they were a new company. They're not that great. I was like, Mom the shirts are funny. I'm not buying for quality here.

I'm watching Bush's address. He's saying a lot of good stuff, even though he can't say "Abu Ghraib" to save his life. Of course, he always says good things, it's his deeds that count. His approval rating is so low, but I think this speech will get it back up. He's saying exactly what everyone's been wanting to hear. But, you know, talk is cheap, so we'll have to see how this all plays out after June 30. Today we went down to the Fashion Show Mall. They actually had a fashion show. Nothing like hard bodies in bikinis and high heels strolling down the catwalk to a remix of "The Girl from Ipanema." I snapped a couple pics on my camera phone, but they really weren't that great. We didn't wind up buying anything, but it seemed like all the clothes looked the same in every store. We walked down to the mall from Bellagio and passed through the funnest part of the whole walk, the Harrah's Boardwalk. They always have a stage with a band and dancers, today they had imitation Earth, Wind, and Fire (let's groove tonight, share the spice of life), and we even saw an Elvis impersonator. Only in Vegas.

Things are going well here. I saw something interesting today. At Cafe Gelato, one of the clerks was training another so we had 2 guys serving us. On all the employees tags, they have their names and places of origin. The trainee was from Armenia and his trainer was Alejandro from Mexicali. He was pretty cute, but the thing that caught my eye was Mexicali. So I'm walking back to the elevator thinking "Where's Mexicali?" when my sister and I come to the conclusion that it's a combo of Mexico and California, like how we say Tex-Mex in Texas. Let me know if any of y'all can shed light on this. I didn't get to go the Monet exhibit today, but hopefully I'll get to go before we have to go home. Binion's is having the Poker World Series and Tobey Maguire and Norm McDonald are there. Why can't they have this stuff at Bellagio? Well, at the Las Vegas Convention Center tomorrow they're having a jewelry convention. I really want to go check it out (free samples!). Apparently this is a big deal convention because all the rooms in Vegas are getting booked up. You know me, I go where the hype takes me. I went to the Buffet for lunch and I was very good about being low-carb (really, all I ate was meat and veggies). But then I saw my biggest weakness: creme caramel. My dad used to own a restaurant where they served creme caramel. Everytime I went there I would eat fetaccine alfredo and creme caramel. Ever since I was in 4th grade and had my first taste I promised myself that whenever creme caramel was available I would eat it. So I had to. You don't understand how good it was. Mmmm...If you've never had it find yourself a French place and eat some. Or you can have flan, I guess...no, go for the creme caramel.

While I was here I managed to finish my FAFSA and sent it off with no problem. Ah, the beauty of the internet. I'm excited to hear that Michael Moore won the Palm D'Or for Farenheit 9/11. I'll be even more excited when I see it. He's one of those people who always has something interesting to say. I like how his website has a page devoted to a petition to get Oprah to run for president. I mean, I've been saying that for years and it's cool to see that someone else was thinking that. So far LV's been going well. The exercise room was great fun, I spent 2 hrs there. There was this one young guy who was really proud of his body and kept flexing and grunting in front of the mirror. I was like, this isn't Muscle Beach buddy. Is it just me or does everybody have an iPod? The treadmills and elliptical machines have TVs attached to the front of them and you plug in headphones to listen, but a lot of people were passing on the headphones in favor of their own iPods. I guess it's just one aspect of technology that I haven't caught up with and probably never will. Tomorrow I'll probably go see the Monet exhibit in the Bellagio Gallery of Fine Art. The exhibit's paintings are from the Museum of Fine Art in Boston, so I think it will be a treat. Last December I saw the Andy Warhol celebrity portraits here, and it was a stone gas. Wow, I can't believe I just said "stone gas."

So here I am in THE fabulous Las Vegas, NV. Bellagio has totally changed since I was last here in December. They're building a new Spa Tower, so unfortunately the spa facilities are closed. Curses, I was so looking forward to the eucalyptus steam room. It's always so nice in there. Oh, and the little pineapple juice cans that I would sip in the whirlpool. Oh, well at least now I can use the exercise center for free instead of the usual $20 fee. The exercise center is temporarily where the arcade used to be, meaning I won't get to see Dean, the gorgeous arcade manager. Curses again. The hotel is out of penthouse suites so we had to settle for 2 connected rooms. It's not too bad, that's how we did it Europe so it brings back some memories. Unfortunately, b/c we're not staying in the suites this time we didn't get VIP status, so I'll actually have to get my drinks from cafes instead of the VIP lounge and no biscotti or chocolate-covered strawberries. Triple curses. Oh, I'm sure it's better for my waistline anyway. I'm totally low carb here. No bread at all, I even had a burger last night with no bun. I'm so Atkins! Of course, I'm not going as high fat as Atkins so I'm somewhere b/t Atkins and South Beach. Anyway, the skirts are working for me and everything here is so fab. They just opened a new Dior store here and I'm dying to go check it out. Of course, I have to go to my fave Chanel boutique, plus I've got to hit the Fashion Show mall and the Forum Shops at Caesar's. David Spade's at the Mirage tonight, but we're probably not gonna go. There's enough of a show here just people watching. When we got here last night at 10 the place was crawling with pimps and hoes. Eh, what do you expect, it's Vegas baby! Oh, if you're wondering whether your multivitamin really contains what it says it does, check this site out (it was featured on CNN this morning).



On : 5/22/2004 9:20:15 PM persianguy (www) said:

Wow, great hotel. Sooooo high class of you. What is that? Didn't get VIP-status? Well sun-shine on my God damn a#%, the world is f-cking over!

Enjoy your vacation, fatty.

On : 5/23/2004 1:52:25 AM prettydoc (www) said:

You've got issues.

On : 5/23/2004 7:05:41 PM sara (www) said:

you shoulda stayed at the palms...total spot for celebrity sightings, and wicked awesome.
persianguy...khaly zetche! what's wrong, mummy & babbi never took you anywhere on vacation, hater.

On : 5/23/2004 7:54:13 PM (www) said:

You know, lol, I love it when people (especially Persians) try to be so high class -- it's funny as hell. The need for social acceptance, keep trying to dawn that "VIP status" crap. It really does shows who is/was who back in Tehran joonum. ;)

Sarah, khaly zetche? Zetche? What is that German?

On : 5/24/2004 2:08:29 AM prettydoc (www) said:

Yay, Sara saved the day! Yeah, the Palms is great for Britney sightings. I think it's funny when someone is just saying the facts and it gets construed as if they're trying to be rude and snobby. I'm sorry if you're surrounded by people who do that, pg, but I think you've read enough of my blog to know that that's not my style. Tell it like it is, that's my motto. Sara, we need to see more of you. You always have good things to say.

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.

It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope.

Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,

"Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT.


On : 5/21/2004 8:09:15 PM diego (www) said:

ouch. nice joke

On : 5/22/2004 1:50:32 AM Jenny (www) said:

i always loved that joke

OK, franticly getting ready for LV (that's Las Vegas, not Louis Vuitton although I'll be bringing mine). The clothes are packed and for the first time in my life I'm not bringing jeans. I've got 3 skirts, 3 slacks, and a bunch of T shirts and blouses. Plus I'm wearing my cool Puma track suit on the plane so that I can arrive at the VIP desk in style. Ah, the VIP lounge, how I missed you! Oh, I can't wait to indulge in the biscotti and chocolate covered strawberries that await me there. Of course, it's always been my job to make the restaurant reservations so I'll have to do that while we wait in the lounge for our room. This is gonna be outta site! My flight leaves at 7 tonight. Oh, I found a couple of cool articles to tide you over until I can post again.

An OC Scam?

Theresa and Fox got married in real life!

Today was my last day of work for a month. I leave for Las Vegas tomorrow. As our flight time looms closer, the craziness grows. I'm surrounded with mounds of clothes while I help everyone decide what to bring. Since there's 5 of us going, we want to keep the luggage to a minimum. Now any of y'all who has traveled with me knows that I am the queen of minimization. I'm a very economical packer. It was always funny when I'd travel with guys because they'd have 3 suitcases and I'd just have one and they'd be like, how do you fit everything in one case? I guess it's just a gift. My trip to Vegas is the first in a long line of summer events I have lined up for the summer season of "Prettydoc's World." Unlike other forms of entertainment, I won't leave you with a big cliffhanger season finale while you sweat it out during the hot summer months waiting for the fall to end your suspense. I'm adopting FOX's example (inspired by The OC) of having a summer season. Get your pseudo-voyeuristic, I mean "reality" fix here. Incidentally, my dad helped me get the elliptical machine up and running and it's great fun. Too bad I can't use it since I'll be in Sin City. Eh, no biggie.

Yesterday I bought an Elliptical machine after work and spent yesterday and today setting it up. My mom was like, I'm so proud of you. You can be an engineer AND a doctor. (Her whole family is engineers.) I think all my time in the lounge (or as I call it, Engineer Central) has rubbed off on me. Anyway, so we go to test it out. It's a little unstable so I tightened all the screws and everything looks perfect. My sister gets on it for 10 min and then the crank breaks off. The thing is, the crank was one of the few elements of the machine that was pre-assembled in the factory. It was not one of the parts that I assembled. So in one sense I'm relieved that it wasn't my fault, but that also means that I can't fix it and I'm slightly POed that I worked so hard building it and now we may have to take it back. I finally gave in and asked my dad to help me, so he's trying right now to get the crank to work. It was funny cause when it broke I thought, I should call Diego, he's a engineer! Then I remembered that he's in computer science AKA worthless! Geez, Diego what are you good for? I'm sure as soon as I write that my computer will crash, and I will scream in Karma induced agony. No, it's still working. The computers at work today, however, were not. See, I overslept so I got to work nearly 1/2 hr late (the first time that has ever happened). Then 2 hrs into rounds my computer halts and goes crazy. So I had to go back to the clinic and switch it out. Then the printer I was using did not correspond with the laptop and more problems. Uh, such craziness. Tomorrow I'll work all day, but then I won't work again until July so it'll be cool. I'll be training too, so that's always fun. The girl I'm training (who I misjudged entirely and I apologize profusely) has showered me with compliments that I'm the greatest scribe and trainer around, much better than the other girl who trains her. Yes, you've discovered the secret: if you shower me with compliments, you will get on my good side, but if you piss me off, you're goin down bitch. Have a nice day! (Diet update: I cut my carb intake in 1/2 last week and I lost 4 lbs. Just thought I'd pass that on to the 2.758 people who care.)


On : 5/19/2004 10:31:27 PM diego (www) said:

ouch. i swear if that machine had a program, i could've fixed it. well, only if it were written in C/C++, Java, Assembly, LabVIEW...

On : 5/20/2004 10:34:38 PM prettydoc (www) said:

I have complete faith in your ability, oh wise one. Just read my snazzy computer code: 000111100110000001110101010.

On : 5/21/2004 5:24:04 AM Sammy (www) said:

000111100110000001110101010.....Hey, what do you mean "Sam has funny shoes"?!

On : 5/21/2004 12:27:07 PM prettydoc (www) said:

HAHA, you're the best Sam! You and your funny shoes!

Today was the first time in a while that I've worn a skirt. I was very excited. When I came home from work my mom was wearing one, so of course I immediately felt inspired. Nothing says summer like a skirt. Today's skirt is denim with small ruffles at the hem. It stops at my knees. I paired it with strappy heeled black sandles and a button-down short sleeve Tommy Hilfiger light blue blouse. Plus I had my jade green contacts in and my blue sunglasses, so I was totally ruling the upper west side of Plano. I was thoroughly summerfied. I got to train for the first time today at work and I'll keep training tomorrow and thursday. Then I can say bye-bye to my job for the next 2 months. I'm surprised Diego starts summer school tomorrow because I don't start until June 1, and my class is an 8 week session. So anyway, after I got gussied up I went to my favorite restaurant for lunch: Macaroni Grill. I love that place. I got Whole Wheat Penne pasta with asiago cream sauce, grilled chicken, sundried tomatoes, brocolli, and black olives. It was so South Beach! Then I shopped at Whole Foods to indulge in my new obsession: Soy Milk. For some reason I can't stop drinking the stuff. Which is good because it's got tons of Ca and soy protein lowers cholesterol and prevents osteoporosis. Wow, doesn't everything just feel so much better in the summer?



On : 5/18/2004 10:43:23 AM diego (www) said:

Macaroni Grill's Chicken Scallopine. Yum.

On : 5/19/2004 9:11:25 AM persianguy (www) said:

why don't you focus more on your studies than what the hell you're going to wear, or what you're freaking eating.

On : 5/19/2004 2:22:37 PM diego (www) said:

chill out dude. some of us have other interests besides studying. damn.

On : 5/19/2004 5:51:59 PM persianguy (www) said:

I'm so sure.

On : 5/19/2004 9:32:17 PM Sammy (www) said:

mmm...soy protein! [in a Homer-esque sounding voice]

hmmm...skirt eh? that's giving me ideas..what if I...;)

No worries, "I'm 100% man, and don't you forget it!" (a quote from Homer after pretending to be the purple teletubby for Maggie)

and to the persianguy, apparently YOU'VE never tried the "Whole Wheat Penne pasta with asiago cream sauce, grilled chicken, sundried tomatoes, brocolli, and black olives!" Neither have I, but I don't go around and bash what people eat before I try it. And if your name has anything to do with your gender, I'm assuming you haven't donned on a skirt this summer, so until you do, I fear your claims on what you wear is invalid.

On : 5/19/2004 9:45:37 PM prettydoc (www) said:

"Have I told you lately...that I love you." Shout out to my homies, y'all are the best! And persianguy, how should I concentrate on my studies when I'm not in school? Sounds a little rediculous. It's like telling me I should keep working on my space shuttle. persianguy sounds more nerdy everyday. I mean I'm pretty nerdy, but...well ya know, Diego said it best with DAMN. I think persianguy's school is still in session so we'll try to give him a break this time because he's probably stressed out. Or I could rub it in his face that I've been out of school for 3 weeks. Hmm...

On : 5/19/2004 11:43:05 PM Will (www) said:

Persianguy has a very good point, you come across overly concerned with shallow and trivial matters. His desire for you to "study" may seem misplaced, but i am sure if you looked at the word study as "self improvement" it would be more apropos. Learning occurs outside of school.

Regarding the the food, Whole wheat .... cream sauce? mixed signals?
Soy milk, no matter how good for you it is, it still has plenty of calories. especially when consumed en masse. Water has none; infact ice water actually burns calories.

Hezbollah TV Spot Mimics 'Passion' Trailer
Wow, using an American film to spread anti-American propaganda. Well they certainly are creative.

Interesting site

There's also an interesting article in the May 3, 2004 issue of Time Magazine about how Indians, as the wealthiest minority in the United States, are finally getting noticed by the entertainment industry. Bend It Like Beckham and it's start Parminder Nagra are largely credited with this push, but there is also a new show on Broadway. It is the first Bollywood Broadway musical and it is produced by Andrew Lloyd Webber (of Cats fame) and has a famous Indian composer. The musical was featured today on Good Morning America. Hopefully the buzz will serve them well, and they will be successful. I, on the other hand, have never been to New York City and it doesn't look like I'll be heading over there anytime soon. I have my hands full now with fabulous Las Vegas.


On : 5/15/2004 9:07:15 PM Jenny (www) said:

is bombay dreams the broadway production you are talking about? if so i saw it in london before i moved and thoroughly enjoyed it. parminder is also in ER. good character too.

On : 5/16/2004 11:17:01 AM prettydoc (www) said:

Yeah, that's the name of it. I'm glad you liked it because I'm interested in seeing it. When we watched the clips on Good Morning America my mom was singing the songs the rest of the day! Bollywood movies are a lot of fun. I like the Neela character on ER too. She really dropped a bomb in the season finale. I can't wait to see how it plays out in the fall.

Warning: Major estrogen-infused post

I just underwent 4 hours of waxing. There's nothing more humiliating than standing half naked for four hours while your skin is being ripped apart by hot wax and muslin strips. Sometimes I hate being a girl. Being a woman can be summed up in one word: pain. Emotional pain comes because we can feel more than men. Men have the ability to forget trauma, but women hold on to everything, every coarse word, every harsh glare, every indiscretion. It just stays inside and eats and eats away at her soul. Physical pain comes from various beauty treatments (waxing, threading, tweezing, electrolysis, etc.), menstrual cramps (could they find a more understated word to describe an agony that leaves me floored?), and labor pains (Kate Chopin called childbirth "the torture"). Pain, pain, and more pain is all that awaits a baby girl. Her life will be spent trying to figure out how to hide her inner pain and how to endure her outer pain to finally become stronger. Of course, there are more sources of pain than these, but I don't want to go into them right now. A Freudian would say that I am obviously suffering from penis envy, but I offer the argument that women undergo suffering period. (OK, so the pun wasn't intended when I wrote it, but I like it and I'm leaving there.) I'm not saying men don't suffer, they have their own problems. But the suffering that women endure on a daily basis is very different, much more consistent, and omnipresent. Do you know what it feels like for a girl?



On : 5/15/2004 5:25:48 PM Will (www) said:

Nothing can hurt, if you dont let it. Even those "cramps" . Its all in your mind. :P

On : 5/15/2004 7:05:21 PM prettydoc (www) said:

Yes, tell my prostaglandins and uterine contractions that it is all in my mind. You wouldn't last a day as a woman. You have enough trouble being human.

On : 5/15/2004 9:10:48 PM Jenny (www) said:

sorry will, am not even gonna hazard to back you up on that one. i have spent more than enough days curled up wiht a hot water bottle and high levels of motrin in my system trying to get over my uterus' rebellion against existance within my flesh. I'm just shocked you didnt try to blame all men's problems on the ones women suffer!

On : 5/16/2004 11:18:42 AM prettydoc (www) said:

Sisters stand strong! Don't let the Man get you down! Girl Power! (Uh, let's try to erase that last one from our memories)

On : 5/16/2004 1:35:28 PM Jenny (www) said:

bad memories of insane madly curly afro-like hair and way too high shoes! noooo! and the ginger one..... ahhhhh!

Things are winding down here a bit this weekend. It's my last weekend in Dallas before I head to Vegas, and I predict it will be filled with pursuing bodily perfection. I'm sure there will be plenty of exercising, dieting, threading, and waxing for all. Everything's getting squeezed in this weekend because Monday-Thursday all us girls will be busy. I'll be working all those days, and the girls will be enjoying their last week of school and all the exams that go with them. As soon as they're out of school we'll only have time for some quick packing and then we're on the plane. So time is of the essence and every minute counts.